If you’ve ever felt like the world around you is working against your best efforts to raise kids who aren’t addicted to screens, I totally sympathize. I personally know many mamas out there who feel this way and don’t know exactly what to do about it. We don’t want our kids to be the kinds of kids who have their eyes glued to screens at every free moment, but we also don’t want to completely strip them of all media and technology. So how do we find the balance?
We live in a very interesting time where things are available to us that were not accessible, say, 20 years ago. We have to be wiser as mamas. Old tactics and techniques may no longer work. There are things that our kids can see and do now that could potentially make us walk in fear.
But let’s not give in to that.
Let’s make some really key decisions to manage our homes well. We want to stand before the Lord confident that we did our absolute best! In this post, I’m going to share what I’m intentionally doing to reroute my children and teach them how to manage screen time properly. Feel free to take and apply what works for you!
Prayer
Years ago, when my kids were little, I remember allowing my then 2 year old to watch a couple Veggie Tales episodes every day. And I remember that even as I would go to turn it on, I would feel convicted about it. But since I had a lot of other work to do and didn’t want to be bothered, I went ahead anyway and put it on.
It got to a point where I would feel so convicted about it that I literally couldn’t bring myself to put the tv on for her anymore. I had not, at that time, made it a matter of prayer (mainly because I didn’t want to listen…being transparent here!). But I couldn’t push past the conviction I had, so I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance and for how often, if at all, I should be allowing my kids to watch tv for leisure. And this idea dropped in my mind: once a week.
I felt a peace about that, but knew that it would take a lot more of an investment on my part. I needed God’s help to get my heart in the right place and not be the cause for my child being addicted to the screen!
We don’t have to do anything apart from of a place of fellowship with God. Not even handling issues like this. God gives wisdom to those who ask Him, and through prayer we may be able to see ways we can change things that we wouldn’t have previously seen.
I don’t believe God wants our kids glued to media any more than we do. If you feel like it’s something you really struggle with, I encourage you to ask Him for guidance and that He will help you to conquer this in your family.
Educating
I don’t like to leave my kids in the dark about things. When I tell them they can’t or shouldn’t do something, as much as possible, I try to explain why that certain behavior or act is bad. So after my kids watch a movie and they want to watch another one, I always always tell them that too much tv is bad for them and turns their brain mushy. (I’m not sure how scientific that last part is, but it definitely holds water in their eyes!) Because who wants a mushy brain?
It’s also important to teach your kids how to properly use technology and why. My older two kids, even though they’re 5 and 7, are well aware that there are things on the internet that are inappropriate and unhealthy for them to see. So if they’re using YouTube to practice drawing, for instance, they know that they need to ask permission first and to skip the ads as quickly as possible.
Making my life an example
This is pretty self-explanatory, but…I realized that it would be pretty hard to keep my kids from being addicted to phones and computers if I was.
I’m not talking about the times when I need to use my phone or be on the computer. I’m a blogger, so my girls know and can see that when I’m on the computer I’m not just floating around mindlessly. What I’m referencing is the unnecessary wasted time on social media, the internet, or even texting. I think we all know that without self-control in this area, we can easily spend hours we didn’t mean to spend!
I personally feel like this is so, so important because they will feel an entitlement to do something if they see us doing it. I’ve seen this in my own kids. They have this sense of injustice because how come we can do it and they can’t? But when our lives are an example to them, they can see clearly how to follow, and they won’t see us as hypocritical. 🙂
Tip: We all want to have personal time for social media. I suggest either setting a timer while your kids are napping or occupied. Better yet, wait until they’re all tucked in at bedtime 🙂
Conquering distractions
When I’m busy doing things, it’s very easy and tempting for me to just let my kids sit and watch something for 30 mins to an hour. It would allow me undistracted time to get things done.
However, I’ve quickly discovered that the more tv I let my kids watch, the more they want to watch and the lazier they become. It would get very difficult to get them to help with household chores, and I eventually realized that I was the one causing them to be like this.
What’s really helped me in this area is arranging our daily routines in a way that prioritizes what needs to be done and still allows me personal time. Distractions are a big deal for moms, which is why I’ve created daily schedules and routines. Also, when my mind gets caught up in a “thinking trap” (where I’m daydreaming), I catch myself a lot more quickly and stay on task.
Read: How to Make a Schedule that Works
Use Routines to Make Your Days Run Smoothly
Pursuing skills
Kids, like grown ups, need work to do. Otherwise, they’ll find things to do…and we won’t like it!
I decided to invest in some things that my kids can learn so that they can have some things they can work on. My oldest daughter likes to draw, so she actually uses our iPad for art lessons on YouTube. I got her permanent markers, tracing paper, a drawing pad, crayons, colored pencils, etc. This is one option for her to do in her free time instead of mindlessly watching tv or movies.
Lately, I’ve also accumulated things for sewing, painting, crocheting, crafts, and making slime. Many of these things aren’t costly at all, and are worth it to help your child develop his or her skills! Your local library is also an awesome resource as well for instructional books at a child’s level.
I remember one time the girls were working on some kind of craft at the breakfast table. My husband asked them if they wanted to watch a movie they had picked out for that day (they get one movie a week), and they replied that they didn’t have time because they were “so busy.” That made my mama’s heart so happy because that’s exactly what I want to see for my kids: happy productivity that I’m not having to force along (score!).
Teaching my kids to be project-minded
As my kids develop skills in different areas, I’m constantly giving them ideas for projects they can do. For example, when my oldest daughter is drawing picture after picture, I’ll tell her something like, “You know you can make little books with these pictures and write small stories and give them to people or even sell them”. I can always see the lightbulbs go off in her mind and she starts adding to these ideas.
When we return to homeschooling (at the end of this school year), it’s my desire that my oldest two (and even my toddler) will be so filled with projects that their free time would be completely void of boredom. I want them to create. God is our Father, and He is a creator. I want my kids to tap into that limitless realm of creating things and see what they come up with!
Simply not allowing it
I think one of the hardest things as a parent is to say no to your kids when other parents are saying yes. When we go to certain friend’s or family’s houses, my kids know they are not allowed to watch certain things, and if I do let them watch tv, it’s only for a certain amount of time.
There have been many, many times where I’ve been angry because my kids convinced me to let them watch another movie. But I’ve discovered that I’m angry at myself more than anything because I allowed them to do it! As a mama, I’m an authority figure in my home, and I ultimately decide what happens or what doesn’t.
So I encourage you…say no to your kids when you need to say no. If you encounter their resistance, stay kind but firm. Offer alternative things for them to work on, or better yet, spend some quality time with them!
Read: 15 Quality Time Activities Your Kids Will Love
Bringing them alongside
I used to have absolutely no concept of how parenthood worked. For some reason, I thought that I’d be able to just do what I needed to do, my kids would just “be there” with me during the day, and it would all work out fine. So when my kids were constantly getting in trouble because they didn’t have things to do, I would get frustrated and wonder why it wasn’t working for me like it seemed to be for other moms.
Thankfully, I’ve learned since then! I’ve learned that I need to be patient with their immaturity and weakness and bring them alongside me to help me with things. There are so, so many skills our kids can learn when we involve them in things and not just try to occupy them while we do everything. My kids help me cook a lot, and I’ve had to learn that they may get eggshells in the egg bowl. They might spill the milk, or stir a little too hard. It’s ok! They love to work with me, and it makes them feel productive and valuable.
I’ve found that after I’ve spent patient time bringing my kids alongside of me in household chores or other activities and have encouraged their efforts, they have no problem spending the next hour playing happily together without fighting. I’ve seen it time and time again enough to know that this works!
So what about you, mama? How are you conquering screen time in your home? Comment below-I would love to hear what’s worked for you!
Related Posts:
How I Stopped Wasting Time as a Stay at Home Mom
How to Have a Prayer Life When You’re a Busy Mom